Have you ever thought about having a therapy session and wondered what it’d be like? If you have then this is the post for you! If not…then this is still the post for you, as it will help you get to know me since my therapy sessions have helped me get my life back on track. Therapy is more than just a clinical place for treatment, it’s with a real person, in a real place and often feels like you’re meeting a friend on a regular basis. I’m hoping this will be portrayed in this post.
The town my University is situated in is so small so I usually walk to my therapy sessions. I enter the three-story building full of stained glass windows, inspirational quotes scrolled across each of the walls and other independent offices. Sometimes I arrive before my session time as I get anxious about being late (strange, I know) so I sit in the hallway and wait for my therapist to come and get me, often seeing other people scurry past with a sheepish look on their faces.
Each of my therapy times vary week to week, but they are all 1 hour long. Let’s say this session is from 10am-11am;
10:00 am – My therapist invites me into her room where I take a seat and place my coat on the fleecy sofa. Candles are lit and there is a slight scent of lavender that fills the room. She then takes a seat facing me, pulls out her diary and books in my next appointment.
10:05 am – Still sat facing one another, I’m fidgeting, picking at my nails and pulling at my own fingers. I either talk about how things have improved, or how they might have worsened.
10:10 pm – I stare at the floor, to the left or right of my therapists head, anywhere but her eyes as I also struggle with eye contact. Sometimes our conversations come naturally and flow nicely and other times I have to think and sit awkwardly whilst saying “yea, I don’t know what else to say.”
10:15-10:30 pm – Once prompted I’m swept up in our conversation and the tears are usually flowing by this point. My therapist has a box of Kleenex on the floor next to my feet, I politely ask if I can take one, she mentions I’m silly for asking and I pile up the used tissues in my hand and usually start to shred them anxiously. Have you ever cried whilst someone just sits there and watches you? Well, I do have to tell you, it is quite difficult and awkward as hell!
10:30-10:45 pm – I calm myself down due to embarrassment and the worry that I’ll have to walk back through town like a Panda because of my running mascara. I begin to watch the clock as I know it’s the half-way point and create a growing concern to how I am going to deal with my emotions of this session once I have got home.
10:45-10:55 pm – We wrap up the session and sometimes set myself little tasks and goals to achieve. We say our Goodbyes and she kindly lets me out of her office.
10:55 onwards – I leave the building and text my boyfriend straight away so he knows what to expect when I enter my University accommodation. Sometimes I tell him I feel fine, others I warn him about yet more tears to come.
Sometimes I feel really confident and upbeat while I’m speaking to my therapist, other times I dread going. Occasionally I leave the session feeling angry, sad or really stirred up about something, usually if the session has triggered emotions and memories of my past. I’m still learning how to ride the highs and lows of therapy but I know in the end it’ll be worth every effort.
The initial meeting may be heard but a therapist does become your friend and once you’ve reached this level it really is special. This is one of the most rewarding parts of therapy for me as I know I am always going to have someone to talk to at any stage in my life. I can trust her and I don’t trust easily.